On the drive to the school bus yesterday morning, Kajal asked me a question that for a moment, left me speechless.

Kajal: Mommy, will you miss me if I die?
Me: (after a moment of shocked silence) I wouldn't even want to live with out you Kajal, you are the center of my universe
Kajal: would you want to be in heaven with me?
Me: if that's where you were, yes, I'd want to be there with you. Why are you asking this? What made you think about dying?
Silence
Me: Are you worried about dying?
Kajal: Would anyone else miss me, Mommy?
Me: Everyone who knows and love you, would miss you. (and then I list all those in our family and friends who love her)
Kajal: No one would miss me at school Mommy.
Me: why do you think that?
Kajal: because I have no friends there. No one likes me.
Me: But what about (list a few of the friends she's connected with)
Kajal: They're not my friends anymore. Nellie (let's call her that) says that I'm nasty. She tells everyone that I'm nasty.  She tells them in front of me. Now when I try to play with the girls at recess they tell me no.
Me: Oh, Kajal, I'm so sorry that's happening. Have you mentioned it to your teacher?
Kajal: Once a while ago. She talked to the girls and they said they were sorry. Then they started doing it again.
They call me nasty. I don't know why.
Me: There is nothing nasty about you. You are amazing. This is not acceptable behavior on their part, honey. This is bullying.
Kajal: I don't know what to do anymore.
Me: That's okay. Just remember though, you don't need to have everyone like you to be happy. You only need one or two good friends and then those friends can really love you and that love can last a life time.
Kajal: like your friend Holly from kindergarten?
Me: Yep, just like that. She was my only friend for a long time and we're still friends. We've never said a cross word to each other and we're always kind to one another. That's what friendship is really all about. Always being kind and caring for each other.

The bus pulled up and we blew kisses to each other as she ran off to start her day in school.

I sped home to write an email to her teacher.

Kajal's teacher was aware there had been problems and she thought they'd been resolved. She agreed to reach out to the girls leading the pack and investigate to better understand the problem. I believe she truly cares about seeing positive change happen.

This is so unacceptable though. Bullies. I've watched the specials on them, read the books. They're as young as 5 years old and as old as... well, they're all ages. They pick a target and go after them, they charm those around them and recruit them onto their 'side'. I'm dealing with this with my irrational neighbors and Kajal is dealing with it in school.

Alot of people believe that putting up with bullies is a way of life. I don't believe that. I don't believe any of us, children or adults should just 'put up' with being treated cruelly or unjustly. I believe we need to teach our children to stand up for themselves and ask for help if they are the victims and teach them to not just 'stand by' if they see it happen to someone else. To stand up for what's right... not quietly watch and in silence, support what is wrong.