No matter how hard I try to ignore the hostile environment my neighbors have created, to focus on the positive in our lives and those in the world around us that are in greater need... I can't block it out. Every day it's something else.. they're doing something else. This woman is so irrational that every day she's chasing down someone else, trying to file false harrassment charges against me or dig up dirt. She and I have had almost no direct contact for what seems like months and yet behind the scenes she's working to destroy my reputation, my relationships with my neighbors, my credibility. I'm stunned that this is still going on.

I chose to set a positive example for Kajal, to stand up and go before my fellow HOA board members. They told me the accusation against me (that I'd misused my board position and threatened someone with it) I shared my emails and told my story. Answered the questions they asked me. As easy as it would have been to walk away, that just didn't seem like the right thing to do. The board backed me up and agreed that I had done nothing wrong. That the accusations against me were unfounded. They notified the neighbor who has continued to rant and rave against me... she claimed she was filing a harrassment suit against me. Huh? We don't even communicate with each other, how can I be harrassing her?  I've asked for peace... I've told everyone that will listen that all I want to do is live in peace, to surround my family with a peaceful neighborhood and yet these people will not let it go.

It's frightening and deeply disturbing. I'm so saddened by all of this. I moved here, built a beautiful home and wanted nothing more than to take care of my mother, raise my daughter and adopt more children in a neighborhood filled with friendship and love. Now I find myself surrounded by hostility and hatred. Is it because we're a bi-racial family? Is it because I'm a single working Mom? I know I shouldn't spend the energy wondering but I can't help it. There are neighbors near me who I have taken in their children when they showed up at my door crying after school because no one was home and they couldn't get in their homes , I took care of their children happily, there are neighbors who I drove to work when their cars weren't working or that I brought flowers to when they first moved in. Our only contact has been positive, we've never exchanged a cross word... and as I walk down the street they turn their backs on me and act as if I don't exist. They stand in groups, laughing at the edge of my driveway only to silence as I walk out my door.

How do you explain to a child why you no longer are able to wave hello to every face you see, as you drive down the street. Or that when you did wave, people don't wave back.

I've never been on the receiving end of such blind hatred... it stuns me.  I wont be forced to leave the neighborhood... I don't know how people can look themeselves in the mirrors at night when they gain such pleasure at the expense of another but I still, desperately try to pray for them and for us, that peace might enter their hearts and our homes.

I am so frustrated, angry and sad. How can I even think about starting the adoption process again when I am living in such a horrible environment?

We spend as much time as we can at Church and I am beginning to build friendships with some wonderful women outside of the neighborhood. I've even met some wonderful folks in other parts of our community... I know I need to focus on this. I'm trying...  but when I get the calls that this woman, this crazy women is continuing to threaten to come after me, accuse me of things I haven't done I wonder if prayer.. .is enough.