UGGGH! I could scream this morning, oh wait, I already did! Bus stops... can we talk about school bus stops?? Beware, if you don't feel like reading about someone raging against their neighbors and unruly children sign off now because the mood I'm in this morning, who only knows what will be written next.

When I first moved into my neighborhood the bus stop was an exciting and cool thing. I came from the city, we didn't have bus stops.. we just walked our children to school. In suburbia, there are bus stops. Seems like such a sweet and normal thing.. walk your child to the bus in the morning then sweetly wave goodby as they ride off into the sunrise to greet their perfect school day. I have to admit, the idealistic view held up for the first few months. There were even other mothers there to join me and we'd talk over coffee as we watched over the children. The children would some times step out of line (figuratively, not literally) they'd start screaming as they tossed a ball back and forth (mind you this is before 7 AM) or run in the streets. One of us would say something and they'd behave again. It was nice, for a few months.

Slowly the other mothers stopped coming and I became the last mother standing at the bus stop every morning. Now granted, some mothers have jobs they have to drive to early in the morning (as you know I work from home so this is a morning trek I can make) others, well, they just stop coming.

Now let me back up to some problems I've had with a neighbor of mine. This neighbor has wolves. Yes, wolves. Two beautiful animals I'll admit. Shortly after they moved in they admitted to my mother and I that the 'dogs' in their backyard where full blooded wolves (a grey and a Timberwolf). I thought that was cool,. they were breathtaking and seemingly gently animals and the neighbors were responsible and put a 6 foot fence around their property. Months later when one of their animals started howling through the night (11 PM- 6AM straight through) it wasn't so sweet anymore. Countless nights Kajal would awaken in tears and frighten because of the howling.. when I tried to talk with the neighbors they ignored me and I have to admit, I'm guilty of leaving some pretty upset messages (after being ignored upon asking nicely) on their machine.

I know you think that I'm getting off subject but let me tell you, there is a link between the wolves and the bus stop behavior I'm about to share.

I guess I'm not the only one that the late night noise was bothering as some other neighbors called Animal Control. The mother assumed that it was me as I was one of only two neighbors to ask her straight out to do something about the noise. I know that wolves aren't allowed in our community and that in the county here you have to have a license to own them but I didn't want to turn them in to the police because I know their family loves the animals and I'd hate to see something bad happen to them.

Next thing you know I'm getting raging emails from the mother accusing me of making her life miserable and placing her and her children at risk. Me? Who keeps wild animals in their backyard? All because I asked her to find a way to keep the animals quiet (not even during the day, just late at night - was this unreasonable?).

She also accused me of yelling at her son at the bus stop. Yep. Did that. Her son is one of the trouble makers, screams and yells.. runs in the street and taunts other children to play with him and do the same.

Needless to say, this neighbor and I aren't exactly on good terms. The last out of control screaming and raging email I got from her I kindly responded that I didn't appreciate her unfounded accusations and hostile behavior (this was after she and some friends also posted on facebook that they wished something bad would happen to my 'house' animals and perhaps they should have an old fashioned 'barn storming') I also told her that I wished nothing but peace in our neighborhood and perhaps we could put aside our differences for our children's sake. To raise them in a positive environment. No response as you can imagine. Quiet is better than irrational rage, at least.

As the behavior at the bus stop became increasingly out of control, I called the school. The Principal confirmed that bus stop behavior was to be maintained at the same level the children are expected to behave at school. Then she also stated that it was the parents responsibility to watch over the children at the stop. They suggested I called the Transportation department who then told me to call the school back.  The school suggested I call the police. Well, that didn't feel right. Call the police because kids are unruly, screaming and playing in the streets? Nope... I might be mad but I wasn't going that far.

This morning the same child (of the neighbor you've just heard about) got the other children playing, screaming and again, was running across the street. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal but when you've got cars pulling out for their early  morning commutes, I get concerned it puts all the children at risk. I could just imagine a car swerving to hit one child only to hit the others standing quietly, at their bus stop.

I've ignored this child for the last month because of his mother's temper and the fact that in one of her raging letters she asked me not to speak to her child but this morning my patience wore out. Especially when he called another child to play with him, putting them now at risk.

Stop running in the streets and screaming... be considerate of your neighbors and be safe! The bus stop rules of behavior here are the same as at the school. No screaming or running/playing in the streets, I snapped at him and the other child now also, involved.

I'm the only parent here today, I continued, and if you want to behave like this ask your own mother to come and watch over you! This is unsafe behavior!

He rudely responded, I never heard of that, I never heard there were rules for this stop.

When the bus driver pulled up (and she's a bit scary herself) I addressed the issue with her loud enough for the other children to hear.

Are the rules of this bus stop the same as the rules of the bus line at school? Are the children expected to behave without yelling and running in the streets?

Oh, yes, she replied, the rules remain the same... (loud enough for all the children to hear).

Then she leaned over to me and suggested I speak with the boys parents (she's had lots of trouble with the same child and knew immediately who I was talking about)

That's not an option, I replied. Perhaps the school could send a note home to them instead.

I pray this doesn't start up another war with the mother next door but I am so frustrated. I'd like to let me daughter walk to the school bus alone but I truly don't believe it's safe. I've seen bullying at these stops, kids pushing other kids off the curbs into the streets. I've seen them playing chicken and soccer, running in the streets when it's still dark out and cars are pulling out to go to work. They're rude to adults and often rude and insulting to one another.

No one wants to take responsibility for what goes on at these stops. It's not on the school or even the bus company, they are only responsible for what happens 'on the bus'.

I lead the crime watch in my neighborhood and the officer I spoke with from the local Sheriffs office told me that it is the parents responsibility. That what ever their child does, they are fully and financially responsible. But who cares about that when a child gets hit by a car?

Maybe I just haven't had enough coffee yet this morning... I'm just so mad and feel so helpless.

The bus stop, like school, should be a safe and happy place... but things aren't always the way they are supposed to be, are they?