Her American Girl Doll, Her American Girl... friend
Kajal has had trouble sleeping on her own... the nightmares that haunt her from her life in India still leave her afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone. I have faith that it's just a matter of time. I see her confidence growing. Some nights, she doesn't hesitate to head to her room and others... she knows she just can't. I don't push her, I encourage her... motivate her, guide her but I don't push her, I know she does it when she can and I try to trust that it truly is just a matter of time. We've started talking about adopting another child, finding a younger sister to bring into our family. I've explained that it would be a good thing for Kajal to be sleeping in her room every night before we introduce a new child into the family. So that they can share a room, together. Kajal is comfortable with that idea but her struggle to sleep alone continues.
One day she just headed to her room.. no issues, no grand statements. Just, Mom, I'm sleeping in my own room tonight.
That's great Kajal... what made you think of doing that?
My doll. She thought it would be a good idea.
She's my friend Mom.
She is indeed.
Kajal's American Girl doll, "Kajal" and Mr. H junior (a copy of the stuffed animal Jane Goodall travels the world with)
I'm so glad Kajal is doing better on using her room. You're a good mom by letting her take her time....we're still working on the same problem!
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Thank you for writing.... It's not easy as a parent to share your room and my patience at time has worn thin. When I'm really tired and she's taking over most of the bed I literally want to scream at times. The good news is she's gone back and forth and for a while she was sleeping in her own room every night (perhaps waking up and climbing in with me in the middle of the night but still, starting out in her own room and there for most of the night). The social worker that helped me early in my adoption process and the articles I read early on counseled newly adopted parents on recognizing when a child is either traumatized or needs the opportunity to build a bond, to let the child sleep with them if possible. I'd also heard from parents who had wonderful bonding experiences that they let their children curl up with them until they fell asleep. If I was stronger I'd carry her into her own bed every night after she fell asleep. That might have made the transition happen faster but I'd only end up dropping her and waking her...
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