How was your day, I asked Kajal after I picked her up from the bus.

Okay, Mommy, but Kiley was mean again.

What happened?

Every day at lunch, when I go to sit down, she says... NO! You can't sit there! I saved those seats for my BFFs!

(BFF - best friend forever)

She saves all the seats Mommy and she's mean to all of us.

Have you tried talking with her?

Yes but it doesn't work.

Have you gone to the teacher?

Yes and the teacher told her to stop but she does it again, every day.

Hmmm... if this is happening in 2nd grade, what's going to happen in high school?

I couldn't help it, I found myself getting pissed off at a bratty second grader.

Kajal, you've got to nip this in the bud. If you don't stand up for yourself now, this little girl is going to be pushing you around for a long time... it's going to get a lot worse.

What do you mean, nip in bud?

I mean, stop it. What she's doing is wrong. I'd like you to try and tell her that, then sit right down where ever you want to sit, she doesn't own those seats.

Kajal thought about it for a little bit.

It's about standing up for yourself, honey.... and it could feel good. You've tried it before. Will you try it again?

Okay but what do I say.

How about something like: Kiley, you don't own these seats. You can't tell me what to do or where to sit then just ignore her and sit down where ever you like.

Will I get a prize if I stand up to her.

Hmmm.... maybe a little one, Kajal. If you stand up to her that would definitely be worth celebrating (okay so I bribed her a little.. .what harm can a little motivation do?)

Kajal came home the next day with a huge smile on her face.

I did it mom. I stood up to Kiley.

You did?????

I did! I walked right up to her and told her she didn't own all the seats and she can't tell me where to sit, that it was wrong.

Wow! You're amazing Kajal! What did she say to you?

She told me that I wasn't the boss of her and I couldn't tell her what she could or couldn't do. Then I told her, you're right, I'm not the boss of you.

So she said, what are you doing then.

And I say... I'm STANDING UP FOR MYSELF!

Wow, that's incredible! You're incredible and so brave! Good for you! What happened next?

Well, then another girl heard what I said Mommy and she walked over and stood up for herself and told Kiley she couldn't be mean to her either.

Wow! Kajal do you realize that you not only stood up for yourself but you set such a positive example you helped another child have courage, so they could stand up for themselves! How incredible does that feel???

It feels good, Mom. Real good.

She sat smiling then raised one little eyebrow at me.

Can I have my surprise now?