The nightmares are back. They started a few nights ago. Kajal woke up sobbing uncontrollably. Mommy! Mommmmmy!!!!!!!! She screamed...

I'm here, baby what happened?

I dreamed you sent me away, you sent me away to a children's prison! You didn't want me anymore!

There it is... always lurking quietly in the background, even in the silence of the evening. Sneaking up on her as she sleeps as our deepest fears always do... the fear that I'll abandon her too. Send her away, send her back.

I held her and rocked her back to sleep. Telling her over and over again that we are forever, that we are a team. That I'll always love her, never leave her... and never, never not want her.

The sobbing was so full of pain and anquish. When I asked her about the nightmare, she told me I was so mean to her... pushing her away, sending her far away.

Remember those nightmares as a child? How terrifyingly real they were. When I think about her dreaming of me, pushing her away, me hurting her... it rips me apart inside. I can't imagine what pain that must cause her, real as it was... even just a dream.

The next night she woke smiling. Hi Mom, she smiled in the morning... last night I had a good dream. I dreamed that Grandma was back, sitting on her spot on the couch when I came downstairs. Mom's away right now in Florida and it was so precious to see how much Kajal loves her, how much she accepts her as part of her life, part of her family.

Then last night, the screams started again. Kajal was sound asleep and screaming and yelling. The screams turned to choked sobs and the tears started to stream down her face. I tried to wake her, gently... Kajal, it's not real.. you're having a nightmare honey, wake up. Eyes closed she responded to me... still deep asleep.. Stop Mommy! Stop being Mean to ME! The nightmare had her in it's in grips and she shook and cried, screaming and crying. I couldn't wake her and I couldn't seem to stop it... she wasn't hearing the good in my voice, the love... she was too far lost in the horrors of her deepest fears.

In desperation I knelt and prayed... I prayed to God, I prayed to Jesus, I prayed to every Saint I'd ever read about. I asked for angels to stop my babies nightmare, to bring her peace. I wept and prayed and for what seemed like hours and most likely only lasted a minute or two when I realized Kajal had stopped screaming. Her tears stopped streaming and the sound of her breathing was peaceful again.

I know some of you out there may not believe in a higher power, I've certainly had times in my past when I didn't either.. or shall I correct that and say that I may have believed, somewhat.. but I certainly didn't believe that a higher power, or in my case God.. would show up for me at times when I needed Him. I have, in recent years experienced the presence of God in my life... of this I have no doubts.

Last night, curled up with Kajal, listening to the peaceful sound of her breathing, I knew my prayers had been answered.