Pictures of us... before we were an 'us'
Kajal was looking through 'the photo' album tonight. The Album that I sent to India to introduce her to me, my mother and our family.
Mommy, when was that picture taken? (She points to a photograph of me taken about five years or so, ago.) That was taken a few years before I brought you home.
When I was in India Mommy?
Yes, hon, when you were in India.
Kajal frowned.. growing more somber she asked about the next picture...
And that Mommy, when was that taken?
The year before you came home... are you okay, Kajal?
She points to the photograph... sadness filling her eyes.
No, Mommy I miss you. I miss you there, I don't like me not being with you. I don't like pictures of you without me in them. I want to be in all your pictures.
I realize that the concept of us not being together at any point in time, is too much for her. Too painful. Thinking of her there and me here... separate... is too huge to process anymore.
I get that. I get that it's sad to think about a time when we weren't together because it feels so right, so 'meant to be' for us to 'be' together. Also, if she thinks about that time, the time when she wasn't with me... then she needs to think about the time she was alone... not just 'without me' but truly, alone.
My mother and I were talking about it and she made a good point, it's hard for any mother or child to comprehend a time when one didn't exist without the other.
The difference here is that we didn't just exist without one another... we both existed, just in different places... different worlds.
It it's so hard for me to think about... and it is... I truly don't like to think about my life BK (before Kajal) imagine what it must be like for her...
Incomprehensible
When I tucked her in tonight she talked of missing Boston. She said she was homesick.. homesick for my sister, my father, her friends in Boston and her home.
What do you miss about our home?
Just that Mommy, it was our first home... it was special because it was. Our Home.
Yeah... her first home. Our first home together. No matter where we are or how beautiful our home is now... Boston will always be special, it was truly, our first home.
its kind of a weird feeling...... to love your old home... i also miss my old place where i stayed for 13 years...
and i liked "No, Mommy I miss you. I miss you there, I don't like me not being with you. I don't like pictures of you without me in them. I want to be in all your pictures."
Reply to this
Nice post its very informative for moms
Reply to this
So beautifully written Lisa! You have a gift...whenever I read any of your posts, you always move me to tears - wondrous, sad, happy depending on the mood you invoke...Kajal sounds like a lovely child with so much depth in her...
Reply to this
Nice blog keep up.
Reply to this
Nice article and informative as well. for few of people like me this article is really helpful.
Reply to this
Cheers for the info. It was a good read.
Reply to this
Very good post i like it moms like this post i am sure.
Reply to this
Nice emotional post...Great
Reply to this
This post is great. Thanks for sharing
Reply to this
"Substantially, the article is actually the freshest on that deserving matter. I harmonise with your conclusions and in addition surely will eagerly appear ahead for your long term updates. Stating thank you certainly won't basically just be ample, for the exceptional lucidity as part of your composing. I can straight grab your rss feed to remain privy of any kind of updates. Gratifying perform and in addition very much achievement as part of your organization enterprize!"
Reply to this
nice thoughts shared....
Reply to this