I noticed last week that Kajal wasn't eating her lunch. I check her box at the end of each day and sure enough, three days in a row there was her sandwich left behind. First the sandwich was all that was left but the snacks were gone so I didn't worry quite so much but by day three I noticed she hadn't been eating anything. Not even her favorite chocolate chip cookies. That made me realize something was really wrong.

Kajal, your lunch box is full. Why are you not eating your lunch?

I don't have time Mommy. Lunch is too fast. Hmmm... that didn't seem quite right. Kajal, has something happened at lunch time? No Mommy. Well, not really.

I asked her what was going on and finally she opened up. A few of the boys were making fun of her and she told a lunch teacher who accused her of lying so she was now afraid to tell anyone at school what was going on. It was clearly causing her stress.

Kajal, what were the boys saying to you? How were they making fun of you?

One boy asked me mommy, he asked me where I came from and I told him.

What did you tell him, Kajal?

I told him I came from God.

That's true honey, you did. We all did.

And I told him that God made me.

Good for you baby, what did the boy say. He laughed at me Mommy, he told me I was wrong. He also told me that God might maybe make our bones but he definitely doesn't make the rest of us. Then he and his friends made funny faces at me and made fun of me.

Well, baby, he was wrong to laugh at you. People believe all different things, some believe in God, some don't believe in God. Some believe different things about God. Everyone has the right to believe in what they believe in and we should always encourage that. We should always be kind and respectful of their beliefs but it's also really important that you don't let what other people say shake your own beliefs. That what you believe is what you believe and it's wonderful to stand up for that and to stand strong by those beliefs.

Do you understand?

Yes mommy, but I don't want him to make fun of me again.

Ooooh, was I mad. I hugged her and let her know that I would talk with the Principal, about the boys and about the teacher in the lunch room who was wrong to not support her. I told her how proud I was of her for telling me the truth.

The next day I marched over to the school and had a serious one on one with the Principal who was very supportive and not at all happy to have heard about the incident. Something must have improved because my dear little one has her appetite again.

She really amazes me. Everything is still so incredibly new to her and yet she has adapted my faith to the core of her being and has  no problem standing up and saying so. How amazing is that? Of course, every day it's new lessons, new challenges.

Almost every night Kajal and I have game time. This is the hour leading up to bed time where I give Kajal the choice of one or two games to play and we shut off the tv and have our time one on one to just have fun. She is so smart and strategic naturally, she whips my butt often. Blink, Trouble and Mancala are among her favorites. A few weeks ago we were playing Blink, a card game where you match up colors/shapes/numbers with the cards exposed in front of you. The point of the game is that the person who gets rid of all their cards first, wins. Kajal loves to shuffle and hand out the cards at the start of the game. Have I mentioned that she is highly competitive? If she wins, she's gracious but if she thinks she's going to lose she gets really upset.

The old, the game is about having fun not about who wins doesn't always hit home with her. I noticed that Kajal was sneaking extra cards to herself, trying to cheat (not realizing she was actually making it harder for herself to win and cheating was actually working against her) I caught her twice doing this and closed up the game.

We're not going to play this game tonight Kajal. I saw what you did and that was wrong. Cheating is the same as being dishonest. If you cheat, you are automatically the loser. You have lost the game, by cheating. I put the game away as Kajal stared quietly at her hands. Can we play it again Mom? No Kajal, we wont play that game again tonight. (Had to try and teach her a lesson) But the reality is game time helps her wind down at night, it also works on her strategic and learning skills and continues to strengthen our bond.

We can play one other game tonight. I pulled out Mancala, a game that's been around a few hundred years where you move marbles around a wooden board capturing your opponents marbles. The person with the most marbles at the end of the game, wins.

As we started to play I noticed that Kajal was cheating again, only she was sneaking marbles into my places on the board. She was helping me win.  When she had a chance to capture my marbles, she refused. Kajal, you don't need to help me, it's okay to win, just win honestly. Win the right way and you don't need to cheat to help me either.

The reality is, Kajal punishes herself. She didn't feel like she deserved to win.  I can give her all the consequences in the world but she is harder on herself than I could ever be.

She'll give herself a time out by going to her room and closing her door when she has done something wrong. She'll clean her room without being asked or write me an 'I love you Mommy" book.

The magic is, she rarely sulks. She may be bummed out for a few minutes but then she looks for a solution. If I've taken away the tv she looks for a puzzle. If she has made a mess, she tries to clean something up. She tries so hard all the time, too hard for a child so young.

She's grown 8.5 inches since she came home to me, gained 22 pounds, learned a new language, adapted to a new culture and just finished a 9 month cycle of medicine to cure the ailments left behind from her life in India. I wish I could help her understand that there is nothing she could ever do that would have me thinking she is anything short of a miracle.

Last night as I tucked her into bed I realized that the dog had to go out. He was dancing circles in front of the door. I promised her I'd be right back but as I ran out the door (I only walked the dog right in front of the building never taking my eyes off of our front door and apartment) I knew she be stressed and fearful. Nights are still terrifying for her. When I rushed back in (thank goodness Logan was quick) not a few minutes later, Kajal was laying in bed with eyes wide.

Mom, did you stop loving me?

No darling, I'm never, ever, ever going to stop loving you. I'm going to love you more than the moon and the sun, than all the stars in the whole night sky... forever.

What if you fall and hurt yourself and bleed real bad and you go to heaven. What then Mommy?

Every time she says something like this I wonder about her past, what she has seen. What are 'normal child' questions and what are questions that stem from previous life experiences.

Well, I tell her, if I fall and hurt myself real bad, I'll go to a doctor and the doctor will make me all better. I plan on taking really good care of myself and being careful so that wont happen... so that I'll be with you forever and ever.

But, if for some reason something did happen and I had to go to Heaven, you have a really big family and everyone loves you. You will be taken care of and you will never be alone again.

She knows bad things can happen. She has lived it. I'd love to say simply that I'll always be here for her but we all know that's not in our hands always. I can't imagine not being in her life for a hundred years, I can't wait to hold her children in my arms but I also know how important it is that she knows it's not just us. That there is more than 'us' and if the worst happens, she wont be alone.

She seemed at peace after this and smiled.

Can we count them, Mom. Can we count our family?

And we did, we counted and we counted... every last one.