A week or so ago we were curled up on the couch reading and watching tv. I gazed out the window and saw snow flurries coming down. Oh, Kajal, look out the window... how beautiful it is. Kajal looked outside and saw the snow, she buried her face in her hands and started to cry... no, Mommy, please, no more snow!

She's a child from the warmest of climates. She's adapted so well and never complained... she bundles up in three or four layers and braves the New England weather. She builds snowmen and throws snowballs but when it comes right down to it, she can't stand the cold. I've always wondered what it would be like to live somewhere else, I've grown up in and always lived in New England. I love the 4 Seasons but watching my little child, depressed by the endlessly cold winter... I've started to think more and more about moving. As we see the stresses of the economy I can't help but think we could have a better quality of life somewhere else. Boston is so incredibly expensive. I've started to research the Carolina's, Virginia. I don't think I could give up all the seasons but perhaps the dead winter wouldn't be missed so badly.

I know my mother would like to spend more time with us and we'd like to have the room for her and perhaps to adopt more children, space like that in the city is impossible to come by without spending close to a million dollars. Who has that kind of money? I've started to day dream about having a house in a small town somewhere, not far from the coast. Maybe outside Raleigh or Charleston. So much to consider though, were do you find family friendly communities, good school systems, low crime, good health care, diversity, culture and homes that you can actually afford? I've heard those areas are pretty good for all that so I think we'll have to do some traveling and explore in the coming year.

Some children seem to still be giving Kajal a hard time in school. As we walked through the snow yesterday we did some roll playing on how to stand up to them when they pushed her around. The snow was sparkeling beautiful and Kajal looked down. Oh Mommy, look at all the sparkles let's make a wish. We've talked about all the magic in the world and to her, these sparkles represented just that... magic. Okay Kajal, let's wish. She scooped up a handful of snow and held it in her hand. We both leaned over the snow ball and closed our eyes. You go first Mom.

Hmmm... I wish that all the children in Kajals school will be kind to her today and that she will make new friends and have a happy day. Kajal smiled, I like that one mommy, thank you. My turn...  I wish, I wish, I wish it were summer. She blew the snow out of her hand and laughed. Do you think my wish will come true, Mom? I held her tight... sorry baby, not for a long time. Summer is still a long time away.

When she was going to sleep last night I found a small photo album of India on her bed. It was one that I had put all the pictures of the children from the Orphanage in. She handed it to me and said, Mom, I want to change the last page, okay. The last page had a picture of a friend of hers meeting her new father. What would you like me to put there instead? I want it to be a picture of you and me.

I realized that she couldn't look at a book about her and India without seeing us, literally at the end of the story. I have other photo books of us, in India, back home but had kept that book separate for her. Now, I wonder why I didn't think of it earlier.

As I tucked her in she said to me, Mommy, I missed you when I was in India. I missed you a lot.

I knew what she meant... you don't have to know someone to know something, someone is missing.

I missed her too.... long before we met. Long before I saw a picture of her face for the very first time. I missed her