Yesterday, I brought Kajal to Sunday school and while we were sitting in the school room at the rear of the church we sat at a teeny weeny table and colored away. Kajal all of a sudden held up her finger to her mouth, shhh mom. God's talking and I'm trying to listen.

I thought, hmmm... she's really been learning a lot here. Then I heard the voice in the distance as well and realized that the mumbling we heard was the voice of the tour guide giving his speach to the tourists still crowded into the church before service started. As I heard him talking of Paul Revere's ride I realized I should show Kajal what she was hearing, not to burst the bubble but I didn't want her to think that God was telling her to climb to the top of a steeple and hang some lanterns... knowing Kajal, she just might do it. Come here honey, let me show you something... I took her by the hand and walked her into the church and picking her up in my arms I hugged her, then pointed out the tour guide. This is what you are hearing darling, it's not God today.

We walked back into the rear of the church and as we sat back down she looked a little sad. Kajal, I'm really glad that you are thinking about God and open to the fact that he talks to us. That's what praying is all about. It's about finding some quiet space and praying... talking with God, asking questions and praying for those you love and the dreams that you have. And if you're really quiet, God will talk with you. Sometimes his voice might sound like your own, telling you an answer that you had been searching for, sometimes his voice will come to you like a feeling.... a feeling of peace. Do you understand? She nodded and said, yes, Mom, I think so... then she continued to color.

A few minutes went by and I asked her a question about her picture. Shhh mom, I'm trying to talk to God and I think he's talking back to me.... shhh.

Ah, my little darlin... she loves to learn and she is truly open...

Last night we curled up in bed and read our nightly stories. Before she fell asleep, Kajal mentioned India. She had a story she wanted to tell me. This happens every once in a while... the memories come back in bits and pieces. Mostly they are about this past year, in the most recent orphanage. Mommy, we were all hungry, we were always hungry. Manisha took an apple, she was so hungry. Then 'they' made us all line up and lean over, holding our toes. She stood up in bed to demonstrate, standing up straight she leaned down to stretch to her toes and try to hold them. I couldn't do it mommy, I tried and I tried but it was so hard. And Mommy it hurt.

I know honey, I held her in my arms and told her I was sorry. I was sorry for all the times she was hungry and all the times she was hurt. All the times she felt alone.

She fell asleep in my arms as I lay there thinking of all the times she'd been alone before, the long nights with no one to hold her, the long days of hunger. Oh my little baby.... my heart hurts for her and her memories, her painful hungry past.

Tonight as we read our stories we read one about beautiful ponies and wishes that come true. When we closed the book I said to her, Kajal... do you believe in wishes. She thought about it but didn't respond. Kajal, Mommy knows that wishes come true, do you know why? Why Mommy? Because for so long... I wished for you and look, here we are, I got my wish... I got you and you, Kajal, You wished for a Mommy... and see, your wish came true. She gazed up at me taking this in. Now, do you believe? Yes, Mommy, I believe. Why, Kajal... tell me, why do you believe.

Because Mickie says so Mommy.

I couldn't stop laughing... once again, thank you Disney.