It seems like the past two weeks have been one doctors appointment after another. The hardest part is not being able to put into words that Kajal will understand that we are doing it for her own good, to make her stronger, healthier and overall happier. Yesterday, I had to hold Kajal's hands as she sat on my lap while she was given five shots (immunizations that may not have been given in India). This was after three hours of waiting around, being poked and prodded from two different doctors and one nurse. During one of the medical exams she completely freaked out in blind fear. After the second shot there was nothing I could do to distract her, she stared in horror at the additional three shots lying in wait and just started screaming, tears streaming down her face. My heart broke. I held her hands when all I wanted to do was grab her and run for the door. I know she doesn't understand... I had a translator talk with her the night before and try to explain that the upcoming doctors appointments were happening to help her feel better. I'm sure she wasn't thinking of that as the fourth and fifth shot pierced her skin. These weren't painless little shots, either. She was in a state of shock when we left the office and I practically ran out of the hospital with her. She cried as we walked down the street and I could do nothing more than stroke her hand and tell her how sorry I was that she was scared and hurting. But she doesn't understand because I'm speaking a foreign language to her. Her TB tests came back negative, so did man other screens for everything under the sun. She is horribly anemic and has a heart murmur that may be a result of the extreme malnutrition and neglect she has experienced in her life. One parasite and a virus that has attacked her skin and dry skin that keeps her awake at night (the difference in climate doesn't help) When she gets stronger, healthier and more nutritionally sound we hope the heart murmur becomes quieter, less evident. She is so sick now and yet so healthy compared to what shape she could have been in. As I walked down the street holding her little hand, listening to her cry my heart expanded with love for her. This little child, this strong spirit, this miraculous little survivor was mine to protect and love for the rest of my life and I have never felt so blessed.